When I got home today, I busted through the front door like I usually do, and discovered too late that someone had latched the chain lock.
I don't know why the previous owners put a chain lock on our front door, but I'll tell you that it is the dumbest location for a chain lock, ever. It's mounted to the molding around the door, which means it doesn't actually keep people out when it is latched, it merely tears the the door frame off the wall when the door is pushed open. Needless to say, there was an unwritten rule in our house that you never latch the chain lock.
Now you're going to ask why we didn't just remove the useless thing when we moved in. WELL THANKS FOR THAT, BRAINIAC, BUT THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE THIS STORY TO TELL YOU.
So, at 5pm I bounded into the house as I usually do, and the door frame came right off the wall. I screamed into the air "Who latched the chain lock?!?!" All three kids rushed into military formation to be counted and accused.
Actually, they just poked their noses over the top of the staircase and said "huh?"
Eventually I got them to come down the staircase and observe the front door frame disaster. Arnold Palmer stepped forward and sheepishly admitted that he did it. He was genuinely forlorn and I was surprised. Normally Arnold is not the child who pisses me off. In fact, I very rarely get angry with him at all. But in a show of fairness to my other brats, I yelled once more about my broken door frame and I sent Arnold to his room. The other children scattered. I went into my office and listened to Arnold cry in his bed directly above me. He was truly disturbed, shaken up, and remorseful.
A half hour later, he knocked quietly at my office door. I let him in and he handed me a gift bag.
"I'm really sorry I broke your door, Mom," he said softly, "I made this gift for you as my apology."
"oh, Arnold" I gushed. My little boy had brought me a present to apologize! How awesome is that? "You're forgiven!"
I wanted to hug him and squeeze him but he doesn't do that anymore. Instead he ran back upstairs to blast some robots in Halo 3.
I opened the bag and found a chess piece, a ball of yarn, and the head of a snake.
I did not know what to make of that, so I just stood there staring at it. Now I'm truly disturbed, shaken up, and remorseful. I'm never yelling at that boy again. Granted, Arnold has rarely had to apologize because he hardly does anything wrong, but someone had better teach that boy how to do it. If this is his idea of an apology gift, his future girlfriends are in for a hell of an experience.
Confused,
Crown Royal, M.D.
I don't know why the previous owners put a chain lock on our front door, but I'll tell you that it is the dumbest location for a chain lock, ever. It's mounted to the molding around the door, which means it doesn't actually keep people out when it is latched, it merely tears the the door frame off the wall when the door is pushed open. Needless to say, there was an unwritten rule in our house that you never latch the chain lock.
Now you're going to ask why we didn't just remove the useless thing when we moved in. WELL THANKS FOR THAT, BRAINIAC, BUT THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE THIS STORY TO TELL YOU.
So, at 5pm I bounded into the house as I usually do, and the door frame came right off the wall. I screamed into the air "Who latched the chain lock?!?!" All three kids rushed into military formation to be counted and accused.
Actually, they just poked their noses over the top of the staircase and said "huh?"
Eventually I got them to come down the staircase and observe the front door frame disaster. Arnold Palmer stepped forward and sheepishly admitted that he did it. He was genuinely forlorn and I was surprised. Normally Arnold is not the child who pisses me off. In fact, I very rarely get angry with him at all. But in a show of fairness to my other brats, I yelled once more about my broken door frame and I sent Arnold to his room. The other children scattered. I went into my office and listened to Arnold cry in his bed directly above me. He was truly disturbed, shaken up, and remorseful.
A half hour later, he knocked quietly at my office door. I let him in and he handed me a gift bag.
"I'm really sorry I broke your door, Mom," he said softly, "I made this gift for you as my apology."
"oh, Arnold" I gushed. My little boy had brought me a present to apologize! How awesome is that? "You're forgiven!"
I wanted to hug him and squeeze him but he doesn't do that anymore. Instead he ran back upstairs to blast some robots in Halo 3.
I opened the bag and found a chess piece, a ball of yarn, and the head of a snake.
I did not know what to make of that, so I just stood there staring at it. Now I'm truly disturbed, shaken up, and remorseful. I'm never yelling at that boy again. Granted, Arnold has rarely had to apologize because he hardly does anything wrong, but someone had better teach that boy how to do it. If this is his idea of an apology gift, his future girlfriends are in for a hell of an experience.
Confused,
Crown Royal, M.D.
An honest apology is priceless, in this case literally!
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