My husband
and I will have been married for 20 years in couple of months. We had just started talking about how to
celebrate this milestone when one of my joyful single friends invited us to one
of his crazy meet-up events, called Brides of Seattle. It sounded like a fun pub crawl, and was
happening on a non-work weekend, but we couldn’t commit right away due to other
scheduling questions. So, we only
decided to go about a week beforehand.
Three days before, the organizers announced that in honor of I-74
passing, there would be a “priest” available to marry any desiring
couples. On a whim, I asked if they did
renewals.
Two days
prior, the “priest”, who has a valid internet license, said he’d be happy to
perform a ceremony, and asked for a copy of our vows. Vows?
Oh. So, I threw the question out
on Facebook, and asked a few friends, and took that copy to book club, leaving
the draft behind for my husband to edit.
Because, you know, after 20 years, what you want to promise may have
changed a bit.
Ordinarily,
I would have wanted to invite everyone I know to my party. However, this wasn’t my party, strictly speaking. I did vaguebook about it, and mention it a
few people. But Save the Hour isn’t
really in very many people’s repertoire these days. And I had no idea exactly when the renewal
would happen. It could be after the mass
marriage to Jimi Hendrix’s statue, or at any one of the clubs. In hindsight, we should have done it at the
engagement party. Hindsight is always 20/20,
isn’t it?
Anyway, I hied myself to Value
Village, and picked out a dress I could afford, a curtain to make a veil and
figured out the rest of the accessories.
I am, after all, the girl from 27 Dresses. I know weddings. Hubby decided on his fur Burning Man Vest,
and a cummerbund. We got the vows off to
the priest by noon, and I finished all the alterations by 4 on the day of the
big event. What could go wrong?
In the end: nothing. We had a blast, met great people, and
wandered Capitol Hill with fabulously dressed brides, bouquets, and attendants,
carousing and celebrating all stages of love and luck with similar minded folk. I took my polyamorous vows to Jimi with a
throng of brides, and went joyfully off to the reception. Getting Father Whiskey Dick and a
congregation to a place where hearing was possible took some doing, but the end
result was beautiful. The Sisters of
Perpetual Indulgence, some fellow party goers, and a few random passers-by
witnessed our vows, in the shadow of Jimi Hendrix, who wore a festive poncho
for the occasion. I even got showered
with glitter, which is so festive, even if it is MOOP. Somehow it seemed as
fitting as anything we could have actually planned.
Here are our
vows:
I promise to be patient
I will follow you into adventures and culinary peculiarities trusting that it will be okay.
I will tolerate your farts with minimum commentary, and tell you nicely if you need a breath mint.
You will always be beautiful/handsome to me, for plumper or for thinner.
I will make loving you a priority.
I promise to divide household chores based on who hates them most, even if that doesn’t always come out quite equally. This includes bills and taxes.
I promise to talk, to ask, to answer, and to listen without interruption
I will tolerate your obsessions.
I will strive for a world where the night owl and the early bird can nest together in harmony
I will try to remember that having money is less important than not arguing about it.
When parenting, or in public, I will always present a united front, and discuss differences later
I promise to support you in your endeavors, your dreams, and your sorrows. I will believe in you.
There will always be coffee, laughter, and love. Not necessarily in that order.
We will have conversations involving more than just logistics
I promise to be judiciously honest
I will not hold grudges, and will try to overlook faults
I will value compromise.
I will try not to bring the culture from work into our home life.
What was the best part of the renewal ceremony? Committing to doing it, and talking about the vows. We realized we really are still heading in the same direction, and laughing at the same things. And that makes all the difference
I promise to be patient
I will follow you into adventures and culinary peculiarities trusting that it will be okay.
I will tolerate your farts with minimum commentary, and tell you nicely if you need a breath mint.
You will always be beautiful/handsome to me, for plumper or for thinner.
I will make loving you a priority.
I promise to divide household chores based on who hates them most, even if that doesn’t always come out quite equally. This includes bills and taxes.
I promise to talk, to ask, to answer, and to listen without interruption
I will tolerate your obsessions.
I will strive for a world where the night owl and the early bird can nest together in harmony
I will try to remember that having money is less important than not arguing about it.
When parenting, or in public, I will always present a united front, and discuss differences later
I promise to support you in your endeavors, your dreams, and your sorrows. I will believe in you.
There will always be coffee, laughter, and love. Not necessarily in that order.
We will have conversations involving more than just logistics
I promise to be judiciously honest
I will not hold grudges, and will try to overlook faults
I will value compromise.
I will try not to bring the culture from work into our home life.
What was the best part of the renewal ceremony? Committing to doing it, and talking about the vows. We realized we really are still heading in the same direction, and laughing at the same things. And that makes all the difference
Champagne, anyone?
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