IPA’s oldest son, Mr. Pibb, lives with his mother in a small mansion in the hills, complete with a fountain (water feature!) in the front yard, a small yappy dog, and a pool table in the “second, or maybe third dining room, I don’t know, it’s upstairs though, so why would it be a dining room?” (according to Mr. Pibb) He has two latest-edition hand held gaming thingies (shows how much I know about them!), a flat screen TV in every room, including his bedroom (where he has the full size consoles), and goes to Disneyland, Jamaica, water parks, and other vacation destinations on a thrice-yearly basis. He knows, at age 8, what “one-carat diamond earrings” are.
We cannot compete (nor do we want to) on the material level. Additionally, while IPA makes every effort to see his son, Mr. Pibb’s mother often will cancel plans at the last minute when other things come up. She sees no reason why Mr. Pibb should keep plans with his father when a friend suddenly decides to have a sleep over. Mr. Pibb sees no reason why he should come over if we have nothing fun planned.
When we do have him for a visit, we try to find things he will enjoy; things that will make him want to come back. He has already decided he no longer wants to spend the night (too many other kids around (pesky siblings!)). We are hindered by the fact that we have very little (read: no) money for events, trips, stores, or activities. His requests include “Movies? Paintball? Go-carts?” All of which we regretfully have to say no to. He doesn’t understand why.
A few months ago, we were able to have him for several hours on a Saturday, and we were very excited because we had found a weekly car show we knew he’d enjoy. He and his dad discussed which cars might be there all the way over.
When we arrived, there was nothing. The weather was iffy, so the show had been canceled for that week. In the back seat, Mr. Pibb went silent.
IPA and I exchanged worried glances. It was cold, and we knew Mr. Pibb wouldn’t accept a park day for yet another outing. We had $3. We had 4 hours to fill. I started to panic. I really, really, want IPA to get some time with his son, who he sees maybe 2 times a month. I really, really want Mr. Pibb to see what a cool dad he has, despite the fact that we don’t shower him with toys – because of that fact!
What to do?!
I turned around to face him. “Darlin’ boy, we have very little money. We can’t go to the movies, or go shopping. Can you think of anything you want to do that’s free?”
He thought about it. I could see him come up with several things, only to realize they would cost money. He slumped in his seat.
Suddenly he perked up.
“You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” he said excitedly and with a little trepidation. I could tell he thought we’d say no. I prayed it was something feasible.
“What?”
“Go to a mattress store and lay on all the beds!” He waited for us to say how silly that was.
IPA and I looked at each other. Really?!
“Absolutely!” we said. “Why not?”
Mr. Pibb started bouncing up and down, thrilled. I couldn’t believe it. He’d thought of something totally free that he had never been able to do!
IPA grinned and drove to the closest Sleep Country USA. We tromped in, and found a store empty of other customers and filled with floor models waiting to be tested. After letting the salesman know that we really weren’t customers he needed to woo, we slipped our shoes off and began. We took it very seriously. Moving from bed to bed, we discussed the pros and cons of each mattress, from sink factor to bounce-ability. Bob, the salesman, came over and sat down, having no real customers, and taught us about mattresses. He was awesome - we learned the differences between the brands and types of mattresses, and unsurprisingly liked Tempur-Pedic best. We had races from one end of the store to the other, the object being the first to fling ourselves onto the bed at the finish line.
We left the store breathless, laughing and happy. Mr. Pibb was delighted that his idea had been so enthusiastically received, and IPA and I were, I admit, a bit smug that we had given him a memory that took no money, no traveling, and no preparation or supplies.
And I have to confess, we had a pretty good time too!
~Lemon Drop, M.D.
Great lesson for all of us...sometimes it's about the quality of the time spent together and not the money spent to do the things we want.
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